ModernGeek

    I spent the past weekend participating in the schola workshop, here in Auburn AL. Beginning Friday morning, one day was spent on gregorian chant, Saturday being spent on polyphony, and the choir of 70 people sang at the vigil mass on Saturday evening. It's amazing to be singing in a choir of 70 people in the first place, but when combined with singing music that is so entrenched in history, and beauty is truly glorious. But, onto the main point. I was looking around during rehearsal, and I was noting several 'sterotypes' if you will. This in turn gave way to this list: The Eight Types of People You Meet in a Choir

1. The Droaner

The droaner seems unable to match a single note, continuing to 'feel' around for it, yet failing epicly. Yet, somehow, instead of getting softer he proceeds to get louder driving everyone in his section insane. The droaner is almost never aware of his own failings.

2. The Prima Donna

The prima donna is most often a soprano, and is very proud of her voice. She sings very loudly, with insane amounts of vibrato, and refuses to shut up.  If she ever does make a mistake, she proceeds to blame it on someone else. 

3. The Know-It-All

 The know-it-all spends their time informing everyone around them how experienced and knowledgable they are. The truth is, they know absolutely nothing at all, and accomplish nothing besides making total fools of themselves. The know-it-all can often be combined with the droaner. 

4. The Scribbler

This person has more side-notes written on their music then a college term paper draft. Every time the conductor opens his mouth, out come the pencil, and down goes another scribble. 

5. The Mumbler

The mumbler true to his name, mumbles things under his breath the entire rehersal. Just loud enough to be heard, but not loud enough to be understood the mumbler is one of the surest ways to drive someone insane.  

 6. The Leech

The leech is a skill level above the droaner and is constantly stealing the pitch from the person next to them, resulting in them always coming in about a second late.

7. The Free-loader

The free-loader never wants to pay for anything, and is constantly trying to weasel out of expenses. Any kindness offered to the free-loader is simply taken advantage of.

8. The Cynic

The cynic wastes rehearsal time by asking questions that appear to be very complicated, but are in fact completly pointless. In the case of chant groups, his phrases often begin with the words "B-B-but the St. Gall neumes!!!".