ModernGeek: The Matrix

Moderngeek | June 7, 2007 | 10:19 AM

The Matrix

I saw the first Matrix movie for the first time the other day, and after hearing so many good things about it, I have to say... I was disappointed. Most of the movie consisted of "OMG!!11!!! I can't believe this!!1!!". But there are some things which I learned from this movie.

1) All people of any importance whatsoever are required to wear black leather all the time, no matter how useful it really is.

2) All people of importance must also be able to magically temporarily glue their glasses to their head when they flip, otherwise those glasses would surely fall down.

3) All people of importance must also always wear trench coats, and be able to magically keep them from getting cauaght on things, even when running through extremely small spaces.

4) What ever the oracle says... the opposite happens.(This one can actually be applied to any movie with an oracle)

5) All agents look exactly the same.

6) If a machine is to have any plot impact at all, it must have ten zillion wires leading to no aparrent place.

7) To be able to do anything with a computer, you somehow have to master the skill of reading letters and numbers(the Matrix code) that are scrolling by several times too fast for the human eye to be able to read.

8) Bullets, when slowed down, have little spirals coming out of the back of them.

9) To be a person of importance you also have to be able to shoot a gun with perfect accuracy without even looking at the target.

So, as you can see, I was completely unimpressed with how unrealistic the whole movie was. I can deal with unrealisticallity when it's in an anime, or cartoon, but in what is aparrently trying to be a serious movie, it's just totally stupid. I also have no intention of seeing the next two Matrix movies, because aparrently these are WORSE, than the first, and I don't think I could sit through them.

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Comments: 6

"Bethany"

on June 7, 2007 at 6:02 PM

everything you just wrote I completely agree with. Most secret agent movies nowadays have lots of stunt doubles, special effects, and green screens. It's MADNESS! MADNESS!!!

Jeff

on June 8, 2007 at 4:17 AM

I hate to say it, but I disagree. I seldomly take movies seriously, I view them with more of an artistic perspective. The Matrix I thought of as an anime while I watched for the most part. Then there's the anime collaboration known as The Animatrix, which is an entirely different bucket of bones. I have seen the stories in The Animatrix several times, particularly the two shorts directed by Shinichiro Watanabe - two instant beauties in my opinion.

Phobe and Roxie Richie

on June 8, 2007 at 9:30 AM

Itz roxie: Okey,that'z,totally agreeable,with bethany and modergeek!!

Moderngeek

on June 8, 2007 at 9:37 AM

IMO some movies are meant to be taken seriously and some aren't. Like the POTC series. If I went through all the POTC movies then I'm sure I could find a billion little issues like the ones stated above. But, that would be pointless, because POTC obviously isn't trying to be serious, or teach some sort of 'life lesson'. It's simply trying to be fun. But the Matrix seemed like it was trying to teach some sort of lesson, but yet, it made absolutely no sense.

I admit, I probably have been influenced by the fact that my Dad kept going on and on about how good this movie was, and therefore I took it seriously, and by the fact that a movie has to be really good to beat watching anime IMO, and if it's not good I can't help but think, "All this time when I could have been watching(insert favorite anime of the moment here)."
I think I'm going to look into The Animatrix though.

Jack

on June 8, 2007 at 9:53 PM

I actually enjoyed the first Matrix movie. I got past the glasses and the ridiculously 'cool' outfits as they were inside a computer; anything goes there; it *isn't* real. Besides, Neo and Trinity definitely weren't that cool looking outside of the Matrix.
So I will have to disagree with you here; I thought all the problems you had with it were minor; trenchcoats and glasses, the green, enigmatic Matrix script running across the computer screens, etc. The plot, I thought, was not only dystopian (my personal favorite) but mysterious and somewhat exciting. It had a depth to it that most serious movies lack. Of course, the depth is short lived as the last two movies were horrible, but I still have to agree with your father.

Jeff

on June 9, 2007 at 5:06 PM

I'm much more into anime than I am into action films, so I'd rate The Animatrix a bit higher than The Matrix. Though, to some extent - one doesn't make sense without the other. I'm not too sure how fond you are of Shinichiro Watanabe, but the 2 stories he did out of the 9 are "Kid's Story" and "A Detective Story." "Kid's Story" has to be my all-time favorite though, particularly with the way the art is done. "Beyond" falls second on the list - do to the amazing concept it brings as well as the child-like perspective. "A Detective Story" comes in third. It's hard to describe that one... I guess you just have to watch it.