glassjaw

"If you are surrounded by people who not only don't believe in your goals and your positive outlook on life but who also continually try to tear you down, it will be extremely challenging for you to hold firmly in mind that you will succeed and that you can be happy." - taken from 'Zen and the Art of Happiness.'

It has been almost a month since I moved out of my mom's house and into an apartment with a friend from church. This line is very true to me - everything in my day is easier without the stress of my mother. She creates problems for herself and refuses help, she is addicted to drama and likes to be the center of attention. I no longer argue with her everyday, let alone talk to her much. I live with an amazing married couple who is supportive of all my suggestions and who offer useful, friendly suggestions whenever I have problems. The husband has been my role model for several years and he has raised my patience and maturity drastically since I've known him. We both like to go paintballing, ride bikes, and play video games quite often and he's been like a big brother to me.

I sold my car in December and I've been riding my bike or using public transportation a lot. I still help out at the church doing AV stuff at least once a week and I try to regularly attend bible study on sundays. I've spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of career I want and I'm leaning towards being a performance mechanic, but I'm still not sure. I do know that I will need schooling though, and I'm trying to get financial aid since I don't work enough right now. I still try to be there for all of my friends at all hours of the night, but sometimes they just don't want help. Some days my brain doesn't start the way I want it too and I just sit around doing nothing - other days I'm up for over 20 hours doing nothing but productive things. It's a very odd balance to say the least.

I've successfully learned how to save money and I plan on starting an 8-year investment account very soon. The only thing I'm missing for that is a decent job. If I can just work between 25-35 hours a week, I'll have enough time to keep doing the fun things in my life and actually be able to save up money for an emergency fund and getting a place of my own - a wonderful dream that could snowball in just one month! God is doing great things in my life and I hope things keep going uphill from here, I can't wait until I accomplish my goals and I look back on all the people that thought I was wrong! There is no greater feeling than that of success, and I plan to make it an addiction. ^^

Yours truly,
glassjaw

Seppuku is a more correct expression for an act of suicide performed by the process of cutting open the abdomen. Seppuku is better known in the West as hara kiri (belly-cutting), and is a concept so alien to the European tradition that it is one of the few words from the world of the samurai to have entered foreign languages without a need for translation. Seppuku was commonly performed using a dagger. It could take place with preparation and ritual in the privacy of one's home, or speedily in a quiet corner of a battlefield while one's comrades kept the enemy at bay.

Minamoto Yorimasa was a samurai to create the first documented case of sepukku. However, here is one prime example: after the battle of Yamazaki in 1582 Akechi Mitsutoshi performed the unprecedented act of committing seppuku and writing a poem (a haiku particularly) on the door with the blood from his abdomen, using a brush.

There are several instances in samurai history of suicide being performed as a result of personal failure. Here the samurai would commit sokotsu-shi, or 'expiatory suicide', the very act itself wiping the slate clean.

Another reason for committing suicide was the making of a protest. This is known as kanshi. Examples of this are rare, but it profoundly affected one of the greatest daimyo of the Sengoku Period. Oda Nobunaga inherited his father's domains at the age of 15, and although he was a brave warrior he showed little interest in the administration of his territory. One of his best retainers, Hirade Kiyohide, tried in vain to persuade him to mend his ways, but when the young Nobunaga showed no inclination to listen to him Kiyohide put all his feelings into a letter to his lord, and committed seppuku in protest. Nobunaga was greatly moved, and changed his ways for the better, with, of course, considerable consequences for the history of Japan.

Discuss: - Thoughts and opinions on seppuku in all forms in the past.

Some of you may remember me talking about an event around the end of April called Displace Me - here is the video that spawned from that. For anyone who thinks you have a terrible life, that you're not loved enough, or that they didn't put enough soy in your latte, or that you're doomed when the power goes out at night - watch this. Look at these people - they have no families, no friends, cramped shelters for those that have it, no electricity, no plumbing, they don't always have water, they don't know the person that they fall asleep next to each night - or the different one they wake up with. Watch this video - and then tell me if your life is really as bad as you think it is.

Now - here is a video of Invisible Children taking the progress from this to the doorsteps of the people that can do something about it.

I thought about fire in the sky
But what intrigued me more - was when I saw fire in your eyes
Gently hovering over your amazing smile
I wish you would stop smiling... so I could breathe again.

So, right now I'm falling for the most amazing woman in the world. We went out on a date and learned a lot about each other. We're having coffee sometime later this week, preferably in the evening. Why? Because, much like myself - she has a wild side unleashed by the moon, and that's the side of her I want to see. I told her how beautiful she was - because I felt she needed to know. If she's not a travelling performer - if she's not wearing a mask for a chance, but rather - showing her true self for a greater chance, then I will turn that chance into something wonderful. The thing is... I have no problem telling her how I feel about her, it's simply that I don't think now is the right time. This irritates me beyond anything that's ever happened in my life, because I'm impatient. This isn't like waiting for a birthday - this is something I have control over. The problem is, I'm not sure what time is the right time - and until I see her again, I won't truly know her that much. I've never felt this strongly about someone, and I've never made better use of 8 hours with one person!

Any suggestions?