Today is March 1, and therefore the official month to boycott the RIAA has begun.

According to some users on Digg, this is really old, but I didn't know about it so I'll still posting it here.

Okay, the US government released these signs that supposedly tell us what to do in case of a terrorist attack. But, these signs are so ambiguious that they could mean... well... very different things then they actually are meant to. There's a whole list of them, but here are some of the funniest ones.

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.

If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle, or yell really loud.

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.

Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!

Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.

If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

Do not drive a station wagon if a utility pole is protruding from the hood.

If the weather is overcast with dark skies, look for worms in the grass.

If you are trapped with no hope of being found, amuse yourself in your final moments with shadow puppets.

People, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol are all at risk of being sucked into the time-tunnel vortex.

To eliminate smallpox, wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand under a faucet with no sink.

If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.

Yeah, okay that turned into being almost all of them, but seriously I almost died laughing reading this. My Favorite ones are "If the door is closed, karate chop it open", and "If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it to the wall with your shoulder."

I've been sick with the flu since Monday, and only this morning woke up feeling better. And I usually NEVER get the flu. One of the worsts parts for me is that I had to go to the doctor, and all medical professionals creep me out...

EDIT: More signs just because they're so funny.

If your building collapses, climb under your table and practice yoga postures.

After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that.

If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

Your respiratory and digestive systems are optional. Cast them aside if you feel you no longer need them.

Survive a biohazard attack by first standing, then begging on your knees, then rolling over and playing dead.

That closet door in your bedroom leads to the gates of Hell. Don't go there.

The middle of a terrorist attack is not an appropriate time to catch up on your reading or paperwork.

In time of war, real Americans eat red meat only! No wimpy fish or poultry, please.

Radioactive materials come in 4 convenient sizes:
   - individual dose
   - family value size
   - neighborhood spray pump size
   - supersize!