xomissJ

I just might adore his smile

I just might be terribley happy that he called me.

I just might be upset that he loves her.

I just might be happy that he said he was trying not to care so much.

And I just might...I just might...

Be falling for him again.

Gosh. Why are people so against changing? It's life, we change, we get older, and we don't stay the cute little ten year olds we were a few years ago.

It's not a BAD thing to change, right?

I mean if you don't do it to an extreme...

But seriously all I do is act like an 8th grader. No crime right?

-sigh-

So i'm either acting to old or I'm being too immature.

Do I need to grow up? Or grow down?

You know what?

Whatever.

Screw it.

I'm finally learning to grow up.

I'm learning to be responsible, i'm learning not to cry about the littlest things.

I'm learning how to forgive. But I will never ever forget.

I'm learning how to not love him immediatly. But I know as soon as I don't, he will call, or smile at me, and my walls will fall.

I'm learning to love myself. And I really think I do.

I'm learning to be nice. I'm sick of being mean.

I'm learning how to eat 3 meals.

I'm learning how to suck it up and deal.

I've learned how not to cry.

I'm learning the importance of a best friend.

I'm learning that it's cool to be independent, but you need somebody to lean on when things get tough.

I'm learning to stop being so shy. I'm learning I need to try new things, and I need to take a chance because I learned that I live for today. Not for tomorrow.

I'm learning how to love properly. I can't force myself to, but....even if i'm trying not to...I love him...

I'm learning to understand what he feels about having an unreturned love...

I'm learning to have an opion.

I'm learning how to be a good sister, a good daughter, a good person. Because I don't know if I can go on acting like this, qutie honestly.

I'm learning to appreciate things.

I'm learning how to trust myself, because a wise girl once told me "You can't do it, because you don't trust yourself."

I'm learning how to trust others.

I'm learning how to fall, and actually get up.

I'm learning how special each day is

I'm learning how to have a best friend.

I'm learning how to be that best me ever, because there is no other like me. 

I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm getting wiser.

And i'm only 13.